True fitness isn’t just about the body. It’s about the mind. That’s why we’re gonna motivate you, right now. Did you know that some sports can saveā€¦ the world? It’s true! Throughout history, man has told stories (both real and imaginary) that center around the magic of sports. We’ll start at the beginning, shall we?

Heroic twins Hunahpu and Xbalanque marched down a long, descending labyrinth into the Mayan Underworld, to free their father and uncle. The contest? That freaky Mayan basketball game thing, played against the rulers of the Underworld. The final score? Twins 1, Underworld 0! And, in the after-game celebrations, the sun and the moon were formed. Just goes to show you, don’t park on the street the night of a championship game.

We all know the story of Atalanta, don’t we? In short, a young lady uninterested in traditional gender roles is defeated by a cheating young man she is then forced to marry, ensuring the Patriarchy remains fully unthreatened for a few more centuries. Close call there, right, fellas?

Around 1914, in the middle of World War I, the German and British troops decided Christmas was too special a time for war. Carols were shared, greetings were exchanged, and then, finally, there was a little game of soccer in the middle of No Man’s Land. This game was so amazing that it inspired two different ’80s music videos but the officers behind the lines hated it. As did a young Adolf Hitler. So, you know, choose your side.